I miss you Vala…

My sweet baby is gone.  My soul mate.  Vala mal Doran, my Tibetan Mastiff was much more than just a dog.  She was my confidant, my heart, my trusty companion, she was always there for me when I needed her.  I will miss her every day.  No more the wagging tail and expectant smile when I drive into the yard. There is a blank spot there now.  Just the darkness of the Alaskan winter, not the golden beauty that waited patiently for me every day.

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Im am heartbroken that some horrible person took your life without thought or mercy. You did not deserve to be shot, you were a kind soul.  I can only think that for those few minutes how hurt and scared you were and my heart breaks to think that you were alone and scared. I wish I could have been with you so that you would know just how much I love you and I would have done my best to hold back the darkness.

I remember you sweet baby face the first day you came home.  You were the prettiest animal I had ever seen.  I was in love. I couldn’t let you out of my sight.  You had the sweetest disposition I had ever seen in a Tibetan Mastiff. Like your namesake, you used your absolute beauty to charm and wiggle your way into everyones heart. You loved your people fiercely and were the most loyal of protectors, though you were just the most sweetest lovable creature on earth.

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No matter how bad things got, you were always there for me.  With a doggie lick and a smile you made everything better.  You were my rock when my marriage broke down and everything came tumbling down.  I held you tight when the sadness would overcome me.  I would bury my face into your soft fur and know everything would be okay.  You smelled like sunshine and happiness.  What I would give to be able to do that just one more time.

This week and well the last 9 months have been so hard.  Not only did I lose you, but by a churlish twist I lost even more.  How I wished you were there to listen to me pour my heart out about the loss of someone who was important to me. Reeling from the loss of my sweet golden girl, I was faced with another loss, that still none the less hurt.  At that moment I wished more than ever you were here to comfort me.

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I will miss you so very much. There is a giant hole in my heart right now.  I will miss your sweet kisses, how you always would sleep on the bed and hog all the covers.  I will miss how you would sleep in with me on the weekends and how breakfast was the best meal of the day. I will miss the feel of your fur and the silkiness of your sable ears. I will even miss the shrubbery you used to drag in the house attached to your tail and pants. In my eyes you were perfect and I wouldn’t change a single thing.

I will remember you always and I look forward to the day when I see you again.

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5 thoughts on “I miss you Vala…

  1. Adam

    Very well written, and cannot begin to express how sorry I am that you are having to go through this. It does not help, but know that she is waiting for you and watching over you now, and that you are in our thoughts.

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  2. Melanie

    My heart breaks with you! Not for just the cruel way she was ripped from your life. She was your rock, your blanket and your best friend all rolled into one. The one dependable thing coming home every night. I felt the same way about Loki. Coming home to find him gone (from a twisted stomach instead) was the worse thing that could happen, especially when everything else was crashing at the same time.

    Don’t feel guilty about not being there. Vala’s last thoughts were probably that she wouldn’t want you to be seeing here and putting yourself in such misery. She loved nothing better than to comfort you and make you smile.

    Remember the love.

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  3. Brandon

    So well said, Susie. Can’t imagine the pain. It’s hard enough to lose a furry best friend but in such a tragic cruel way makes it all so senseless and sad. Always will remember Vala when we look into Layla’s knowing eyes and if you are ever in Chicago, please come & give her a hug.

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